This week, you get a solo episode from yours truly and we dig into BOUNDARIES. We take a look into the meaning behind the name, “No Mercy Business Podcast,” and how I felt God compelled me to create something beautiful out of something that can seem so cold and empty. Then, lets talk about setting boundaries and how my lack of empathy has helped my clients to protect their home life, work hours and thrive.
Setting Boundaries for Your Business | Episode 11
Released Aug 16, 2022
Get my weekly business tips / newsletter here
Transcript
Take a dive into the meaning behind the name, “No Mercy Business Podcast,” and how I felt God compelled me to create something beautiful out of something that can seem so cold and empty.
Then, lets talk about setting boundaries and how my lack of empathy has helped my clients to protect their home life, work hours and thrive.
Emily: (00:00)
Welcome to the no mercy business coaching podcast with Emily, a Woodruff, the podcast that walks you through managing your own small business through the highs and the lows. We’ll talk with small business owners from all over the us and share insights on how to help manage your business without the extra fluff and connect with other women. Just like you. Let’s dive in.
Emily: (00:33)
Hey everyone, it’s Emily, you are host. I am so thankful that you are here with me today. I can’t wait to dig into this week’s topic. I think that you’re gonna like this one. So the, the purpose of this podcast is to just be able to share my experiences and share my interactions and, um, you know, some things that I’ve learned along the way I’ve owned my own business for about 10 years, a little bit longer than 10 years now. Um, I have my bachelor’s degree in business administration. I have subsequent degrees in liberal arts, business management, um, office professionalism, office management. I have subsequent certificates that go along with it. Um, and I have been in the business world. I feel like my entire life, my, my mom was a business person. She had a team of, you know, 20 people below her, almost my entire life until I was like 25.
Emily: (01:36)
Um, my dad had always worked in offices. They both were very committed to their jobs, very committed to their, their employers, very committed to making sure that they did well in their business, that they did well and thrived in their endeavors, wherever they were at. My mom worked for the same company for I think, 27 years or something like that, which is a heck of a long time . Um, and my dad, he worked at a couple different ones, different places, but everywhere that he went, he went head first. He dove in and he was all there. He was a hundred percent in, he didn’t hold anything back and he, he cared about his clients. He cared about his coworkers. He cared about his employer. He, he gave way more than he probably ever should have, but that’s a, that’s an episode for a whole different day.
Emily: (02:35)
Um, I, all of this, just to say that the business world has been around me my entire life. Um, my parents were not service workers or trade workers. They, you know, it just, it just has kind of surrounded me forever. And it’s something that I feel like I am extrinsically gifted in. I feel, feel like God has blessed me with the spiritual gift of administration. Um, and I never really thought too much about that until the last couple years. Um, administration is a weird spiritual gift and we’re gonna go down this road for a little bit. Um, it’s a weird spiritual gift because it is something that you can learn and it’s something that you can just be good at. But for me, I started to realize I’ve always known that administration was one of my spiritual gifts because I’m weirdly good at administrative things.
Emily: (03:34)
Um, I always scout score super high on the spiritual gifts test or the, you know, personality test, anything that has to do anything that has to do with organization and, um, management. That is me through and through to a T um, don’t come in my house and open a couple certain closets, cuz they will try to tell you lies about me, but it’s fine. It’s like my Monica closet from friends. Um, I have this one that’s like under my stairs and it’s just a, it’s a catch all and it’s the bane of my existence, but that’s that’s yeah. Anyway, so for spiritual gifts, I started to realize that for me, this truly is a spiritual gift of mine because the way that I can absorb information about completing certain types of tasks, the way that I can apply them, the amount of stress that I can take on and then still be confidently outputting the work.
Emily: (04:39)
There is no humanly way that I can do that on my own. There is no way it has to come from some other force. It has to come from God. And I started really tapping into that. Now that I am six years into my, what I would call my career. I started realizing that some of these things that I do it, my, my career, my job is very seasonally based. So there are certain times of the year that we are kind of slow. Um, it’s in the construction realm. I don’t wanna give too many details I don’t ever wanna have anyway. I’m not gonna give too many details about my actual job, but it’s in the construction field. And um, so like most states, Michigan, we have a construction season and we have winter in the winter. There’s very limited construction that can go on.
Emily: (05:39)
We can do lots of indoor things. We can do lots of, um, interior renovations or working on case work or things like that, that aren’t weather pending. Um, in those months, my job is significantly easier in the summertime. I will sometimes have stacks of paper on my desk that are literally an inch thick of things that I have to do that day. My job is very dependent on new jobs starting. I anyway, I get to a point where there are so many things going on. I feel like I can’t blink at my job. There’s too many tasks. I hand there’s too many things to do. And I started, I started thinking about it more and it’s, I always get them done and I always get them done well. And I always do the things that I need to do. And then still have time for more.
Emily: (06:41)
I still have the ability to take on more. I still am able to do it with a smile most of the time. And I, I feel like that is just not something that’s me. It’s not something that I have designed. It’s not something that I have put the effort into. Sometimes I amaze myself with the amount of things that I’m able to accomplish in one day. And I have to just say, man, that was God that had to be God, because none of that was me, the way that I’m able to work with certain types of clients or certain, you know, subs of ours, it’s, it’s God breathed. So I started just really wanting to tap into that. And so realizing that my ability to do these things comes from God is really ground shaking for me. Um, I don’t come from a Christian background.
Emily: (07:44)
I don’t come from an entrepreneur background. I, as a kid, everything I did was, was my doings. You know, it was all from me. So being able to take, take a hard look at my life and, and realize that something has happened outside of my doing that took a lot for me. It took a lot for me to truly surrender that to God. And to say that I understand that this is something from him. And to when I say surrender that I think that, I mean surrender myself and all of the good that I have done and all of the work that I had put into things and really turning that over to him and, and giving him the glory for it. Instead of me, I’m, I’m just, I’ve just been his vessel. I’ve just been the one that he has led me to make these decisions in my life.
Emily: (08:47)
And he has led me to, to continue down this path and I going through that was really eye-opening for me. So if that’s something that you have also faced or something that maybe you’re in the thick of right now, I would love to chat more with you about it. Um, I would love to hear where you’re at or where you feel that God is pulling you. If you’re somebody who doesn’t know God, I would love to talk to you about that too. I’m not gonna, I’m not gonna try to sell him to you, but I would love to know how you run your business and how you manage your day to day. And, and just take a look at how, how things are for you. I would love to try to work with you and, and tap into some of that with you. So if that’s you send me an email, check out my website, say something on Facebook, I’m always around. I would love to just chat.
Emily: (09:46)
So since we’re talking about spiritual gifts, I should probably tell you the opposite side of my test too. And that is that every single test that I take, the lowest score that I get, the lowest spiritual gift that I am ranked with is mercy. And that is how this podcast was born. I am known in my friend circle. And then in my, my business life, I’m pretty much known everywhere that I go for being somebody who’s very forward. Who’s very direct. Who’s very open and willing to tell you what I think and willing to share what I think that God thinks.
Emily: (10:33)
Some people will call that mercy list. just call it real straight. um, you can take that how you want to, but so, so anyway, that’s where, that’s where the name of this podcast came from. And it’s just the idea that if you are gonna work with somebody, you want to know that they’re not gonna give you bull crap. They’re not gonna feed you lies. They’re not gonna just feed into your ego and tell you, Hey, yeah, that sounds great. Or I know that you’ve been trying this for six months and nothing has changed, but let’s just keep doing it. Cuz that seems like, seems like where’re comfortable. I’m not that person. I’m not your coach. I’m not your ally. If you want somebody to just keep telling you to keep doing what you’re doing and continue to see you fail. We’re not the match.
Emily: (11:24)
We are not a match for each other. One of my strengths is being able to be objective and to look at things without , without my friend glasses on, without my, you know, my connection to you getting in the way I’m very talented. I’ll say that very talented in being able to just take a situation and dissect it and remove myself completely from it. So this is something that I thought that I, I could play on and I could work with other people. Um, so now that we’ve kind of established that I wanna talk to you about setting boundaries.
Emily: (12:04)
I wanna talk to you about setting boundaries in your business, setting boundaries in your personal life, setting boundaries in your hours, worked in the way that you respond on social media. All of it. I hope you’re here for it today, man. So if you’ve been an entrepreneur for long, you know that it’s very easy to let your business consume your days and your nights and your weekends and your holidays and your everything. If you don’t set boundaries, something that’s very important to do from the very beginning is to set work hours. Something that’s even more important is to abide by them. If you gave up your nine to five, because you didn’t like working for somebody or because you wanted to have an 11 to seven, make sure that you’re committing to that, your spouse, your children, your friends, your family, they deserve that from you.
Emily: (13:01)
They, they deserve to know that you have consistency. You deserve to know what hours of the day you are expected to work and show up and be on it, to be on your game. It’s a difficult way to live your life. If you wake up at different times every single day, if you go to bed at different times, every single day, if you take meetings at 9:00 PM, but your out of office time stopped at 4:00 PM. That doesn’t, that doesn’t speak well of your time management skills. You have every right in the world to be able to say, no, I’m super sorry. That time doesn’t work for me. I would love to meet you sometime between this time and this time, please let me know what works for you. And almost always they’ll have a time that works. People are so afraid of stepping on each other’s toes and, and I think missing an opportunity by standing up for themselves. But I find that if somebody responds to me and says, no, this doesn’t really fit within my needs list or my wants list. I’m more drawn to them because they know what they want. They know what they’re after they respect themselves enough to have a schedule, to have some boundaries and to man maintain them.
Emily: (14:23)
I think it’s incredibly important for our mental health, for our ability to manage our own personal lives for our ability to commit to things, our ability to just really be present in the best way possible for us to stick to our own boundaries, to stick to our own schedules. I mentioned that I have a, a regular job and I also do this and I’m also a virtual assistant. So for my virtual assistant job, I have very clear cut hours that I will work. And I also make it very clear that if anything changes, I’m at Liberty to say, I’m not working tonight. I have, um, a stepson that comes back and forth every other week. And I tell the person that I’m an assistant for. Hey, the weeks that my stepson’s with me, my, my family is the most important thing. So if I’m cooking dinner or if he needs help with his homework, or we just have to do something as a family, or we get to do something as a family that comes before my third job every day.
Emily: (15:39)
And she’s really understanding with it as long as I am communicating with her. And I’m, you know, if I’m getting the tasks done and giving her enough time to know that, Hey, you just can’t send something to me tonight and need it done tonight because I have a prior commitment to my family. It works really well. um, I know that not every single situation can work that way, but it, it works really well for me. And I have, I feel like I have mastered the ability to say here’s the things that I want. Here’s the things that I need. If you aren’t willing to commit to that with me, I’m not willing to give you my time. My time is more valuable to me than making this extra money with you or doing this extra thing for you or whatever it is. What, what have you, you know, I feel like it’s something that can be translated into a lot of parts of our lives, but I was originally thinking that we were gonna dive into this whole episode about setting boundaries and just solve it all in one , but I should have known that that is just not even remotely possible.
Emily: (16:56)
So today I think that we are just gonna end with time constraints and being true to yourself and your schedule and setting up, setting up a schedule for you to stick to and setting up something that’s realistic and making sure that it’s part of it’s that it’s advertised on your website, that it’s advertised in your emails. Something that I learned really recently, and that I really love, not that I learned it recently, but I adapted it recently is when I have an upcoming day out of the office, I put it in my emails so that if the people that I’m working with, if they, if they email me a week before I go, they get a little reminder without me saying, Hey, I’m gonna be outta the office. It just says my name, my regular signature. And then it says upcoming out of office days.
Emily: (17:50)
And here’s where they’re listed. Then when I’m gone, I have a, I have a response, an autoresponder that says, Hey, thank you so much for your email. I am out of the office. I am refueling my creative juices or, you know, whatever I put in there, I’m gone. I am not checking my phone. I’m not checking my computer. I’m so thankful for your message, because that gives me something to do when I come back and thanks to you now, I have something to come back to and it’s really fun. And it makes to me like, it makes the sender feel like they aren’t bothering you so much. And like, maybe that they’ve even done something good for you. So that’s just a little tiny tip of time. Time management that I think is also overplayed by people, especially entrepreneurs who already struggle with feeling like they can’t take a vacation and they can’t leave and they can’t ever set time away from their business because they’re doing it on their own. You can, you absolutely can. So we will dig into more about boundaries and maintaining them in our next episode, I look forward to chatting with you there. Talk to you later. Thanks for listening to the no mercy business coaching and consulting podcast. With Emily, a Woodruff, we specialize in branding and design for women by women.
Get my weekly business tips / newsletter here
Transcribed by Otter.ai
- Author : Emily A Woodruff
- Episode Type : full
- Episode : S1E11
- Rating : Clean
- File Info : audio/mpeg | mp3 | 44MB
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| Deezer | Released | Aug 16, 2022 7:00am | Never |
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of 2
Episode Description
Get my weekly business tips / newsletter here
Take a dive into the meaning behind the name, “No Mercy Business Podcast,” and how I felt God compelled me to create something beautiful out of something that can seem so cold and empty.
Then, lets talk about setting boundaries and how my lack of empathy has helped my clients to protect their home life, work hours and thrive.
Emily: (00:00)
Welcome to the no mercy business coaching podcast with Emily, a Woodruff, the podcast that walks you through managing your own small business through the highs and the lows. We’ll talk with small business owners from all over the us and share insights on how to help manage your business without the extra fluff and connect with other women. Just like you. Let’s dive in.
Emily: (00:33)
Hey everyone, it’s Emily, you are host. I am so thankful that you are here with me today. I can’t wait to dig into this week’s topic. I think that you’re gonna like this one. So the, the purpose of this podcast is to just be able to share my experiences and share my interactions and, um, you know, some things that I’ve learned along the way I’ve owned my own business for about 10 years, a little bit longer than 10 years now. Um, I have my bachelor’s degree in business administration. I have subsequent degrees in liberal arts, business management, um, office professionalism, office management. I have subsequent certificates that go along with it. Um, and I have been in the business world. I feel like my entire life, my, my mom was a business person. She had a team of, you know, 20 people below her, almost my entire life until I was like 25.
Emily: (01:36)
Um, my dad had always worked in offices. They both were very committed to their jobs, very committed to their, their employers, very committed to making sure that they did well in their business, that they did well and thrived in their endeavors, wherever they were at. My mom worked for the same company for I think, 27 years or something like that, which is a heck of a long time . Um, and my dad, he worked at a couple different ones, different places, but everywhere that he went, he went head first. He dove in and he was all there. He was a hundred percent in, he didn’t hold anything back and he, he cared about his clients. He cared about his coworkers. He cared about his employer. He, he gave way more than he probably ever should have, but that’s a, that’s an episode for a whole different day.
Emily: (02:35)
Um, I, all of this, just to say that the business world has been around me my entire life. Um, my parents were not service workers or trade workers. They, you know, it just, it just has kind of surrounded me forever. And it’s something that I feel like I am extrinsically gifted in. I feel, feel like God has blessed me with the spiritual gift of administration. Um, and I never really thought too much about that until the last couple years. Um, administration is a weird spiritual gift and we’re gonna go down this road for a little bit. Um, it’s a weird spiritual gift because it is something that you can learn and it’s something that you can just be good at. But for me, I started to realize I’ve always known that administration was one of my spiritual gifts because I’m weirdly good at administrative things.
Emily: (03:34)
Um, I always scout score super high on the spiritual gifts test or the, you know, personality test, anything that has to do anything that has to do with organization and, um, management. That is me through and through to a T um, don’t come in my house and open a couple certain closets, cuz they will try to tell you lies about me, but it’s fine. It’s like my Monica closet from friends. Um, I have this one that’s like under my stairs and it’s just a, it’s a catch all and it’s the bane of my existence, but that’s that’s yeah. Anyway, so for spiritual gifts, I started to realize that for me, this truly is a spiritual gift of mine because the way that I can absorb information about completing certain types of tasks, the way that I can apply them, the amount of stress that I can take on and then still be confidently outputting the work.
Emily: (04:39)
There is no humanly way that I can do that on my own. There is no way it has to come from some other force. It has to come from God. And I started really tapping into that. Now that I am six years into my, what I would call my career. I started realizing that some of these things that I do it, my, my career, my job is very seasonally based. So there are certain times of the year that we are kind of slow. Um, it’s in the construction realm. I don’t wanna give too many details I don’t ever wanna have anyway. I’m not gonna give too many details about my actual job, but it’s in the construction field. And um, so like most states, Michigan, we have a construction season and we have winter in the winter. There’s very limited construction that can go on.
Emily: (05:39)
We can do lots of indoor things. We can do lots of, um, interior renovations or working on case work or things like that, that aren’t weather pending. Um, in those months, my job is significantly easier in the summertime. I will sometimes have stacks of paper on my desk that are literally an inch thick of things that I have to do that day. My job is very dependent on new jobs starting. I anyway, I get to a point where there are so many things going on. I feel like I can’t blink at my job. There’s too many tasks. I hand there’s too many things to do. And I started, I started thinking about it more and it’s, I always get them done and I always get them done well. And I always do the things that I need to do. And then still have time for more.
Emily: (06:41)
I still have the ability to take on more. I still am able to do it with a smile most of the time. And I, I feel like that is just not something that’s me. It’s not something that I have designed. It’s not something that I have put the effort into. Sometimes I amaze myself with the amount of things that I’m able to accomplish in one day. And I have to just say, man, that was God that had to be God, because none of that was me, the way that I’m able to work with certain types of clients or certain, you know, subs of ours, it’s, it’s God breathed. So I started just really wanting to tap into that. And so realizing that my ability to do these things comes from God is really ground shaking for me. Um, I don’t come from a Christian background.
Emily: (07:44)
I don’t come from an entrepreneur background. I, as a kid, everything I did was, was my doings. You know, it was all from me. So being able to take, take a hard look at my life and, and realize that something has happened outside of my doing that took a lot for me. It took a lot for me to truly surrender that to God. And to say that I understand that this is something from him. And to when I say surrender that I think that, I mean surrender myself and all of the good that I have done and all of the work that I had put into things and really turning that over to him and, and giving him the glory for it. Instead of me, I’m, I’m just, I’ve just been his vessel. I’ve just been the one that he has led me to make these decisions in my life.
Emily: (08:47)
And he has led me to, to continue down this path and I going through that was really eye-opening for me. So if that’s something that you have also faced or something that maybe you’re in the thick of right now, I would love to chat more with you about it. Um, I would love to hear where you’re at or where you feel that God is pulling you. If you’re somebody who doesn’t know God, I would love to talk to you about that too. I’m not gonna, I’m not gonna try to sell him to you, but I would love to know how you run your business and how you manage your day to day. And, and just take a look at how, how things are for you. I would love to try to work with you and, and tap into some of that with you. So if that’s you send me an email, check out my website, say something on Facebook, I’m always around. I would love to just chat.
Emily: (09:46)
So since we’re talking about spiritual gifts, I should probably tell you the opposite side of my test too. And that is that every single test that I take, the lowest score that I get, the lowest spiritual gift that I am ranked with is mercy. And that is how this podcast was born. I am known in my friend circle. And then in my, my business life, I’m pretty much known everywhere that I go for being somebody who’s very forward. Who’s very direct. Who’s very open and willing to tell you what I think and willing to share what I think that God thinks.
Emily: (10:33)
Some people will call that mercy list. just call it real straight. um, you can take that how you want to, but so, so anyway, that’s where, that’s where the name of this podcast came from. And it’s just the idea that if you are gonna work with somebody, you want to know that they’re not gonna give you bull crap. They’re not gonna feed you lies. They’re not gonna just feed into your ego and tell you, Hey, yeah, that sounds great. Or I know that you’ve been trying this for six months and nothing has changed, but let’s just keep doing it. Cuz that seems like, seems like where’re comfortable. I’m not that person. I’m not your coach. I’m not your ally. If you want somebody to just keep telling you to keep doing what you’re doing and continue to see you fail. We’re not the match.
Emily: (11:24)
We are not a match for each other. One of my strengths is being able to be objective and to look at things without , without my friend glasses on, without my, you know, my connection to you getting in the way I’m very talented. I’ll say that very talented in being able to just take a situation and dissect it and remove myself completely from it. So this is something that I thought that I, I could play on and I could work with other people. Um, so now that we’ve kind of established that I wanna talk to you about setting boundaries.
Emily: (12:04)
I wanna talk to you about setting boundaries in your business, setting boundaries in your personal life, setting boundaries in your hours, worked in the way that you respond on social media. All of it. I hope you’re here for it today, man. So if you’ve been an entrepreneur for long, you know that it’s very easy to let your business consume your days and your nights and your weekends and your holidays and your everything. If you don’t set boundaries, something that’s very important to do from the very beginning is to set work hours. Something that’s even more important is to abide by them. If you gave up your nine to five, because you didn’t like working for somebody or because you wanted to have an 11 to seven, make sure that you’re committing to that, your spouse, your children, your friends, your family, they deserve that from you.
Emily: (13:01)
They, they deserve to know that you have consistency. You deserve to know what hours of the day you are expected to work and show up and be on it, to be on your game. It’s a difficult way to live your life. If you wake up at different times every single day, if you go to bed at different times, every single day, if you take meetings at 9:00 PM, but your out of office time stopped at 4:00 PM. That doesn’t, that doesn’t speak well of your time management skills. You have every right in the world to be able to say, no, I’m super sorry. That time doesn’t work for me. I would love to meet you sometime between this time and this time, please let me know what works for you. And almost always they’ll have a time that works. People are so afraid of stepping on each other’s toes and, and I think missing an opportunity by standing up for themselves. But I find that if somebody responds to me and says, no, this doesn’t really fit within my needs list or my wants list. I’m more drawn to them because they know what they want. They know what they’re after they respect themselves enough to have a schedule, to have some boundaries and to man maintain them.
Emily: (14:23)
I think it’s incredibly important for our mental health, for our ability to manage our own personal lives for our ability to commit to things, our ability to just really be present in the best way possible for us to stick to our own boundaries, to stick to our own schedules. I mentioned that I have a, a regular job and I also do this and I’m also a virtual assistant. So for my virtual assistant job, I have very clear cut hours that I will work. And I also make it very clear that if anything changes, I’m at Liberty to say, I’m not working tonight. I have, um, a stepson that comes back and forth every other week. And I tell the person that I’m an assistant for. Hey, the weeks that my stepson’s with me, my, my family is the most important thing. So if I’m cooking dinner or if he needs help with his homework, or we just have to do something as a family, or we get to do something as a family that comes before my third job every day.
Emily: (15:39)
And she’s really understanding with it as long as I am communicating with her. And I’m, you know, if I’m getting the tasks done and giving her enough time to know that, Hey, you just can’t send something to me tonight and need it done tonight because I have a prior commitment to my family. It works really well. um, I know that not every single situation can work that way, but it, it works really well for me. And I have, I feel like I have mastered the ability to say here’s the things that I want. Here’s the things that I need. If you aren’t willing to commit to that with me, I’m not willing to give you my time. My time is more valuable to me than making this extra money with you or doing this extra thing for you or whatever it is. What, what have you, you know, I feel like it’s something that can be translated into a lot of parts of our lives, but I was originally thinking that we were gonna dive into this whole episode about setting boundaries and just solve it all in one , but I should have known that that is just not even remotely possible.
Emily: (16:56)
So today I think that we are just gonna end with time constraints and being true to yourself and your schedule and setting up, setting up a schedule for you to stick to and setting up something that’s realistic and making sure that it’s part of it’s that it’s advertised on your website, that it’s advertised in your emails. Something that I learned really recently, and that I really love, not that I learned it recently, but I adapted it recently is when I have an upcoming day out of the office, I put it in my emails so that if the people that I’m working with, if they, if they email me a week before I go, they get a little reminder without me saying, Hey, I’m gonna be outta the office. It just says my name, my regular signature. And then it says upcoming out of office days.
Emily: (17:50)
And here’s where they’re listed. Then when I’m gone, I have a, I have a response, an autoresponder that says, Hey, thank you so much for your email. I am out of the office. I am refueling my creative juices or, you know, whatever I put in there, I’m gone. I am not checking my phone. I’m not checking my computer. I’m so thankful for your message, because that gives me something to do when I come back and thanks to you now, I have something to come back to and it’s really fun. And it makes to me like, it makes the sender feel like they aren’t bothering you so much. And like, maybe that they’ve even done something good for you. So that’s just a little tiny tip of time. Time management that I think is also overplayed by people, especially entrepreneurs who already struggle with feeling like they can’t take a vacation and they can’t leave and they can’t ever set time away from their business because they’re doing it on their own. You can, you absolutely can. So we will dig into more about boundaries and maintaining them in our next episode, I look forward to chatting with you there. Talk to you later. Thanks for listening to the no mercy business coaching and consulting podcast. With Emily, a Woodruff, we specialize in branding and design for women by women.
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Transcribed by Otter.ai