Expert Virtual Assistance

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Healing from Heartbreak in Business

Join Kandice Bateast and I as we discuss her new book, Goodbye Heartbreak Hello Purpose and how to move forward with heartache.

First and foremost, Kandice is a daughter of the king! She’s a wife, mother of 3, Nationally Certified School Psychologist, and a Christian Mindset Coach. Kandice is the host of the top 1.5% globally ranked podcast, Goodbye Heartbreak, Hello Healing, and the author of the newly released book, Goodbye Heartbreak Hello Purpose:  A 365 Day Devotional. Kandice helps Christian women move forward from heartbreak through emotional healing, spiritual growth, identity work, and building their self-worth so that they are confident to walk into their next stage of life. Kandice’s mission is to see women healed, whole, and thriving.

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Unknown Speaker  0:03  

Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for joining me for another week at the No Mercy business podcast. This is your host Emily Woodruff. And I am super excited to introduce you today to Candice Batista. This. I feel like I just butchered it right that I’m sorry. I asked and I practice. Candace, why don’t you go ahead and just tell us about what you do?

Unknown Speaker  0:28  

Yeah, so my name is Candace Betty’s I am a wife, a mom, daughter of the king? I, yes, yes. By day, I am a school psychologist by night. I’m an author podcaster. And prayer warrior on the wall. So yeah.

Unknown Speaker  0:49  

Awesome. So you have kind of a specialty, specialty type of work that you do. You work with people through their heartbreak? Yes. Why don’t you talk about that a little bit?

Unknown Speaker  1:05  

Yeah, so this, what I call my calling was kind of birthed out of my own heartbreak. I experienced that devastating breakup in 2015, which really revealed that I had a lot of healing work to do from my past, because that wasn’t my first breakup. It wasn’t my first heartbreak. So it made me really go down this road of true healing and what that really meant and growing closer to God, partnering with him, growing my faith during that time. And, you know, once I felt, you know, much better, obviously, emotionally, and just so much growth happen. I learned so much about myself, I learned so much about God during that time. But you know, I didn’t know what would happen in 2015 2016. I just knew that I wanted to tell my story somehow. And I fumbled through that a little bit. I went ahead and tried the YouTube channel, I tried blogging, those things didn’t really work out very well for me. And then sometime later, while I have my daughter in 2019, and at the, like, January 2019. And then like, December 2019, God was like, you know, you’re gonna write a book. I was like, Oh, cool. So I didn’t know it all, you know, didn’t know it all that would entail. But I worked through that writing the book and just published a book. And this October, like two weeks ago, we went ahead and released it. Yeah, it’s called Goodbye, heartbreak Hello, purpose. It’s a 365 day journey that kind of journeys with you for a whole year through that whole process. And then also, I’ve just started some coaching because through some market research, I’ve realized that women are really struggling with their self worth after breakups. And that’s kind of hindering the healing process. So we’re actually I’m offering something called self worth sessions kind of work with women through that.

Unknown Speaker  3:01  

That’s awesome. So I know that this is kind of this is a little bit different for my audience. But I really like it because we all are, we are women, listening, and we are all, you know, at least in common in that way. But I think that heartbreak can be something that it doesn’t have to be relational. It doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship. I’ve experienced heartbreak in my business, and I’ve experienced heartbreak professionally, and just really felt like this might be able to tie well together. So if you’re, if you’re sitting at home, and you’re like, why are we talking about relationships? That’s, that’s where my connection is. And I think it’s a really neat opportunity. Um, so why don’t you talk about how, how can heartbreak motivate someone to thrive? Instead of reverting or failing? Can you talk about that for

Unknown Speaker  3:54  

a second? Sure. So I always say, you know, of course, that initial shock of the heartbreak that, you know, it’s you have to kind of make it through that season, right. And it’s different from person to person someday. Some people it could take weeks, some people it could take months, but you know, it’s really important to go through that healing journey, just the healing of emotions, but after that, I would say, you know, a lot of people I don’t want to say a lot of people but you know, there are people who become better and better some people just go right back to the same old thing. You know, it’s really different. But I think you have a, you have an opportunity during the season to grow, right. You’re, you’re some people say they’re buried, some people say they’re planted, right? So if you do it the right way, as being planted, then this is your opportunity for growth and everything that’s piled on top of you, you can say, you know, this is my fertile soil that will help me and catapult me and that’s what I felt like I felt my heartbreak catapulted me into purpose. So and that’s, you know, that’s why I named the book what I did And so, yeah, so I just think that it comes with renewing your mind. You know, the Bible says in Romans 12 two that we have to renew our minds. And it’s a daily process. And so you know, I’m very much a faith based woman. So I’ve very much believed that get in your word and see what God says about you about what he promised you what you can have, what you have access to what you have authority over, and you take authority and dominion over your life over your area over the things that he’s called you to step into your power, you know, and that’s what I try to tell women like, you know, I tell them, we develop a something called a power statement. And it’s just one like punchy statement that says, who you are. And then when you say this to yourself, say it with conviction and confidence and like, roll your neck, snap your fingers. Say, yeah, really thin and just, you know, own it. Because it, like I said, it’s a unique opportunity to really just learn about yourself, you know, we get so caught up in relationships, that we don’t take time to sit with ourselves and learn, you know, who am I? What do I want? What do I like? What do I enjoy what I don’t enjoy, and just really do some self discovery. And you’d never know what you would uncover as far as maybe a hobby and interest, you can uncover a ministry a business, you know, you really don’t know. But you have to pick that time with yourself.

Unknown Speaker  6:30  

I love that so much. And maybe it’s a God thing right now. But we were talking about this in Sunday school. On Sunday, we were talking about it in church on Sunday, in renewing your mind and how it is a daily process. And it’s not just your mind that has to be renewed. That’s something that I love that I’ve taken out of my little study recently is that it’s a commitment, and I’m going down the faith train, but that’s fine. That’s not it’s not just a renewing of your mind, it’s a renewing of how you use your mind, how you use your body, how you use your gifts, and abilities and things every single day. It’s a whole life commitment every single day. And that’s really powerful to me, because when you think I’m renewing my mind that just feels like I’m gonna look at the glass half full today. It’s not that it’s way more than that, you know.

Unknown Speaker  7:21  

So that’s just choices and decisions, you know, choosing to live differently, and walk differently and talk differently. And you know, I’m gonna go, I’m not going to do this specific thing today. And I’m going to do that, you know, like, it’s really it’s everything.

Unknown Speaker  7:35  

Yeah, it’s like, when people talk about lifestyle changes, you know, I’m not on a diet, I’m, it’s a lifestyle change, you kind of tease each other about it. But you know, like, it really is you have to change your mindset and everything that you do, along with it in order to truly adapt to something like that. So that’s neat. That was a neat little tidbit just to throw in there. So how do you how do you work with individuals through their own personal heartbreaks? What does that look like for you?

Unknown Speaker  8:05  

Yeah, so with the one on one, you know, like that I the stuff that I do weekly, I show up on my podcast, and I like to definitely always give out tips and encouragement and things like that somehow tos and walking through, you know, process isn’t everything. But the book is one thing, you know, I said, it’s, it’s kind of like me hand holding you through a whole year. But then also, I just started the coaching. And so I mentioned that I’m doing self worth sessions. And what I do through that is like we’re developing, again, the renewing of the mind. So we are developing the biblical affirmations, we personalize and we go ahead and target like, what what are your top three, like negative thoughts that are plaguing you, like What’s weighing you down? What’s the thing that you’re telling yourself, that you’re being mean to yourself, you know, you’re not being kind. And it’s the thing that you know that I’m not enough, or I’m unworthy, I’m not loved those things like that. So as we can target those thoughts, then we were going to battle that. So that and we get the words to battle that. And we spend like an hour we go through that. And what I’ve realized that it’s sometimes hard because women don’t. And I say women because I work with women, but people in general just don’t want to admit the thoughts that they have. Yeah, that’s hard. It’s hard to say, I can’t believe you know, that I think this about myself. Yeah. So it takes a little bit sometimes to get to the root and to get the truth out, not because someone is maliciously lying, but just because it’s just hard to admit. Yeah, we get to that and we come up with affirmations to really like Battle those thoughts. Like I said, we do the power statement. You know, my clients say they leave feeling refreshed. Yeah. And then we follow up with some you know, I give tracking a tracking sheet via like a Google Sheets. And we also do accountability. Be a follow up, I want to know, how’s it going? I want to know, like, what was the best part of your day, the worst part of your day? What’s, you know, all of those things are tracked in that tracking sheet. And I want to know, like, how often are you actually repeating these affirmations? Because it’s, it’s a battle, you know, there’s a battlefield in our mind, and it’s a battle. And so I’m working with them. You know, to me, that’s the first step, knowing that you’re worthy of healing, because some people just feel like they’re not worthy of it. Yeah. And so if you’re going to mend your heart, if you’re going to heal your broken heart, the first thing you have to do is give yourself some grace, and be kind to yourself, as you walk through this journey.

Unknown Speaker  10:34  

I love that. That was beautifully said. Yeah, what so what kind of advice could you give somebody who might be feeling defeated or broken or just run down by their business or by their, you know, their regular nine to five job? Yeah,

Unknown Speaker  10:53  

it’s interesting, you asked that, because, you know, I feel like I’ve been in the non epi world for quite some time, but I’m very new to the business world, and I’m trying to, you know, balance the two right now. So I’m actually very much in that, that space of the roller coaster of it all. And so I feel like right now, I’m actually like, you know, being weighed down by the nine to five. But it’s like, I said to myself, and I was like, God is showing me you know, as, and it’s different for everyone what you’re experiencing, but just to keep pushing, like to keep your head down, keep pushing, you know, give yourself time to rest, of course, but as you are working, like not looking to the right, not looking to the left, not comparing yourself to anyone else, not comparing yourself, your progress to anyone else’s progress. Those things are so helpful, especially when you’re starting out something new, when you have a business that’s just not quite flourishing just yet. You know, giving it your all before you say, I’m gonna throw it out, throw in the towel, you know, those kinds of things, and really just praying over and speaking over, you know, I don’t want to come off as hyper religious, right. But I believe in the power of prayer, and if you really just speak good things over your business, and you’re planting those positive seeds. And so you know, and I believe that those seeds are going to flourish one day, so just go ahead and speaking life into your business, instead of saying, Oh, this is not working. Oh, it’s, it’s still failing, I’m not seeing the results. Say what you want to see until you see what you say, yeah. So that’s my advice with that, as far as the nine to five, the way that I feel about it, you know, we are, you know, some people are called to that. And if that’s your purpose, that’s your passion in life. I mean, give it all that you have. For me, I am in a place where I am, I’m just trying to figure out how do I work my nine to five, and do what I have, what I came to work to do, and to make it work as best as I can for me, you know, you know, take care of my responsibilities, but definitely how do I make this work for me and my life, because I have small kids, I have a one year old, a three year old, and I also have a bonus daughter who’s 19 years old. And you know, it’s like, yeah, and you know, I still take care of my household, I still cook, I still, you know, we I show up in my household, and then I have to work nine to 540 hours a week and the business and a podcast. So it’s a lot. And so give yourself grace, and do what you can do. And because you can’t do more than that, yeah, you can don’t beat yourself up. You know, be kind to yourself, once again, be kind to yourself. And that’s, that’s the best I got for you.

Unknown Speaker  13:36  

That’s great. That’s great. So how do you because we encourage Christian businesses here? How do you in? I don’t know how to say the word. Incorporate sorry? How do you incorporate your faith into your teachings with your clients? Like, how does that? How does that play out for you?

Unknown Speaker  13:56  

Yeah, it’s the basis of my business really, because I you know, it’s a faith based business. It’s based on the like I said, we’re building affirmations but they are biblical affirmations. And so you know, we’re going through like, what does God say about you and who you are? Let’s get in there. So you’re having what we kind of thought of you? You haven’t you’re not loved. Well, John 316 says, God so loved the world. I’m like, yeah, just want to get their son for you, their child because I’m not giving my son Right. Right, somebody’s gonna give their son for you, then you better believe that they love you, you know, that? Yeah. worthy of love and goodness and grace and everything that that he says you can have, so that you’re going to combat those thoughts. And I believe that that is just so essential. God’s word, and your faith to believe in His Word is like essential. And, and, and beyond that, you know, again, like I said, I speak life into my business. My business is small. It’s the baby. I don’t know what it’s gonna be, you know, like one of my children. I don’t know what There’s got to be so I am praying for the business and I’m praying for it to grow and flourish and be healthy. And so you know, not only am I working with my clients on the faith base component as far as like building affirmations and renewing their minds, but I’m also incorporating God because I’m like, Look, this is your business. Actually, it’s not mine, right? We’re a business and I want you to be the head. I want you to be all up in it. I want you to be part of the team, right? You just tell me what you want me to do. I want you to give me the strength to do it even when it’s may not be the popular belief or what people are normally doing. Just yeah, he’s all up in there. That’s awesome.

Unknown Speaker  15:38  

That’s so great. I love hearing that. Is there anything else that you would want to share with our listeners today that they should know about you?

Unknown Speaker  15:49  

I mean, they can reach out they can connect with me my podcast is goodbye heartbreak. Hello, healing. The book is good by heartbreak Hello purpose. Everything really is that Candice ate I’ll give you all of that to put in the show notes. That way they can know how to spell my name. Right and and if anyone is interested in self worth sessions, they can email me at goodbye heartbreak. Hello

Unknown Speaker  16:14  

Awesome. Well, thank you so much for your time today. It was really great to have you on.

Unknown Speaker  16:18  

Thank you Emily. I really enjoyed it.

Transcribed by

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