Are you feeling the overwhelm of being a working mother? Are you struggling to feel like you can manage it all?
Valerie Recore joins us to teach us how to stop feeling pulled in too many directions, experiencing the overwhelm, as parents and how to take back the focus in our lives.
Valerie Recore is a productivity coach who focuses on the overwhelm of moms and how to stop feeling pulled in too many directions. She focuses on helping bring equity to all the tasks required to keep the household functioning. Regardless of whether or not they are parents, women do a lot around the house and it can hold them back from climbing the entrepreneurial ladder. It can be easy to get distracted with all the tasks in our lives instead of focusing on the goals we have for our business.
Connect with Valerie:
Find out Which Movie Mom you are here: https://strideproductivity.com/quiz/
Visit her website here: https://strideproductivity.com/
Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StrideProductivity
Engage on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strideproductivity/
Connect with Me:
Join the Girls in Business Community on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/721080359037147
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Engage on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moxieassist/
Emily 00:09
Well, hello, everyone and thank you so much for being here with me today on the no mercy business podcast. This is your host Emily Woodruff. And I am super excited to have Valerie record with us today. Valerie, why don’t you go ahead and introduce yourself and let everybody know kind of what you do what services you offer.
Valerie 00:36
Okay. Yeah, thank you. I’m happy to be here. So I am Valerie Recor. And I am a productivity specialist. And I essentially help moms stop feeling pulled in too many directions. So I believe that moms do way too much. And I am on a mission to shift moms from feeling like they need to do at all to helping them focus on what’s important for them and their families. So that they have time to spend with their partners on themselves with their families and not feel like they must be doing everything all the time. And I do that through one on one coaching and group coaching. And there’s a virtual community involved in all of that as well because I believe that motherhood can be lonely and I want us to know that we’re all kind of doing this. We’re all struggling with the same things. Even if you feel like you must be the only one really stuck with a problem you probably are not there’s probably another mother if not dozens out there who has been there or is there or will be there soon. And so I want moms to know that we are in this together. I love
Valerie 01:39
that so much. If I don’t know how well you know my story or not, but I am a stepmom and this is like my side hustle and then I have a regular nine to five on top of it. So getting lost in the busyness of parenthood and wife hood and the mile long list of to do things you know to do items within my business is always it’s never ending. And so some of my listeners might say, well, this isn’t a mom podcast, but there’s probably some moms listening out here and I feel like anything that can just help us to link arms and to strengthen our businesses, our own mental health, our households. I feel like that’s totally relevant here. So I’m super excited that you’re here and for all the goodies you have to share with us today. Yeah, awesome. So how did you decide that you needed to shift from doing your regular mom duties to to becoming a coach and working with other moms this way?
Valerie 02:42
Yeah. So I have a background in mental health and corporate training. And when my now almost 10 year old was born, I left the corporate world to find that elusive, really non existent balance between motherhood and having a career outside of of motherhood. And I started a professional organizing business. So I was helping people organize their stuff. And over time that has morphed into what I do now is the productivity coaching piece because it was a combination of just years of listening to my friends talk about how busy they were and wondering what exactly they were busy doing. And feeling more like it was a badge of honor that they were so busy than then that was really where they wanted to be and hearing and I love reading time management books. I don’t know why I just love doing that. Then just the last few years with the pandemic and watching mom’s just been kind of crushed under the weight of everything. Really feeling like now is the chance for us to rethink everything, really, but just a piece of like how are we functioning as moms as entrepreneurs as women working outside of is sort of that that motherhood piece and just really taking a look at where we are and looking at how to fix it and and I do think for your listeners who are not moms, a lot of what we’re going to talk about today can absolutely be applied to their lives as well.
Emily 04:12
Totally agree. Totally agree. That’s great. So how do you what’s what are some practical ways that you manage the the, my goodness, the demands of being a mom and an entrepreneur?
Valerie 04:26
Yeah, I think the biggest thing for me is really spending time understanding what is it I want my kids childhoods to look like and what are my goals for my own life? And I know talking about goals or talking about values can be I used to hate the word value. And so now it’s been so it might feel like well I’m not gonna sit down and I don’t have time for that. Like I’m not gonna sit down and look at my life goals or what I want the next five to 10 years of my life to look like or so break it down. Maybe it’s the next three months. What do you want this season to look like? What do you want the school year to feel like what do you want the next six months to look like? And really figuring out what what that is what that feels like. If that’s easier. Maybe it’s not a tangible I want to have seven clients. Maybe it’s I want to be excited to get up and go to work every day. But kind of figuring out what that looks like and then what are what are the things you need to do today to make that happen. And then it’s looking at your to do list and going okay and your commitment and going okay these do fit in with what I want to do or this does not fit into where I want to be in six months. Can I get this off of my plate? On top of all the other things we need to do like eat and clean our kitchens and do laundry and all of that stuff as well right shower?
Emily 05:55
No, that’s great. Go ahead. I’m sorry.
Valerie 05:57
No that’s that’s, that’s the start of it. I can dive further into that and share some examples if that would be helpful. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. So I think one of the big things attend an example would be the clothes in your closet. So if your closet is packed to the gills with clothes, things are falling out. Maybe you’ve got bins of clothes underneath your bed or pile on a chair in the corner of your room. feel attacked. It’s hard to it’s hard to find what you’re looking for. It’s hard to feel on top of things. You’re just kind of flitting through the day pulling something out putting it on, like there’s not, it’s hard to function that way. Right? And I think a lot of time management hacks or the way we look at things is kind of like Alright, how are we going to cram all of this together? Like how can we get you more efficient? How can we make sure that you get everything done in a day or a week? And I think we need to step back and say what belongs there? And then once we figured out that everything on that list and in your commitments belong there, then we can figure out how to get it done in any given day or week. And so it’s going through your clothes. Do you love this? Do you need this? Does this fit with your life in the next six months and if not, out goes. Then once you’ve done that and you’ve purged your closet, then you probably have room to put things in your closet. Now you can see what you need. And now you can find what you need. And you can function from day to day because you have put in that time to make sure things were there. So that might be like one of my goals this year is to volunteer one time for one event for PTA for my kids school. That’s it. I’m not joining the board. I’m not running for PTA president. I am simply volunteering for one event. And so that is how I am involved will be involved in my kids school community. One thing that’s it I’m not overdoing it I’m not doing everything. I’m an over committer if you will, recovering over committer and so I’m practicing say no to most of that stuff and picking and choosing what’s important to me.
Emily 08:19
That’s so great. And I’m somebody who does this with my class i i said i feel attacked, but it’s because it’s something that I constantly have to do. My husband like never believes me when I tell them oh, I went through and purge my closet is like oh, there’s still no room and they’re like listen, understand how much I went through and got rid of and look all my leggings are organized and there’s things in piles the way that they’re supposed to be instead of like just in gloves and the amount of satisfaction I feel after that is like it’s the same great feeling as checking off something of my to do list. You know, I know we’re talking to type a people here, so No, everyone just went. So I can just attest to doing little things like that and how useful it is and making those changes throughout your day. It’s there’s a huge impact. So that’s great.
Valerie 09:16
Yeah. And then doing that a couple times a year. Right. So that evaluation piece, so it’s not just one and done like you are going to evaluate often. And you’re going to be really careful what you put back in your closet. Yeah, what are you adding to it? Do I really need this one more commitment or this one more thing or this other pair of leggings? And the answer might be yes. I’m not saying you can’t ever do this. Right. But you’re going to be really careful about what goes in there. Now that you’ve spent that time.
Emily 09:45
Totally agree. That’s great. So when do you like if you were working with with somebody when would you suggest that a mom reaches out to a product productivity coach for help or assistance or what’s that point?
Valerie 10:01
Yeah. So hopefully ideally, it’s before you’ve reached the point of resentment with your partner of like you’re not sleeping you’re burned out and you might need a therapist more than you need a productivity coach. I’d like to get to you before then. So it’s kind of when you are you are exhausted, you’re overwhelmed and you’re really ready for something to change. You’re tired of feeling like you’re doing it all and you’re ready for something to shift but you’re not quite sure how to make that happen or you need some accountability to put those steps into into practice. So getting there and you’re just ready to take that time and knowing that taking that time in the long run will be very beneficial for you and your family. And really give you more time in the long run to focus on things besides the dishes and the laundry and the work tasks and chasing the kids around.
Emily 10:58
Yeah, that’s great. And those things are all going to be there too. Like that’s something that I think that people need to realize is that if you work with somebody in your field, it’s not like you’re gonna snap your fingers and there’s no more dishes or somebody a maid is gonna come in every single night maybe but maid isn’t going to come in and start cleaning up after you every night or doing your your dinners every single night. But you are going to be able to work with them and teach them ways to make their evenings better or make their days more fruitful. You know instead of everything being a panic so I know there’s some people that have said things similarly to me that I you know, I’ve reached out to not to you but in other instances where they’ve reached out to people and it’s like, well, it didn’t really change anything. Well, no, it’s not like you’re gonna set like I just said, it’s not like you’re gonna send a third party there and do all of these extra things. It’s more about reshaping your mind and figuring out how to work within the means that you have in being less stressed and more productive and finding joy in it. And I think that’s a that’s a great opportunity that you have a great market that you’re serving. Yeah, so who were some do you follow anybody on social media? That’s kind of in your match? Or are there any accounts that you would recommend?
Valerie 12:21
Yeah, so one of my favorite accounts, and we haven’t really gotten into this. So far. It’s called fair play, or fair play life. It’s one of the two, maybe both on Instagram and the fair. Play Method is all about equity, balancing the household tasks, whether you have kids or not. It’s designed for just living with other people. And if you have kids, it can be designed whether you live with your partner, your co parenting or you’re separated whatever that looks like but it’s not just for parents, but it’s all about how to have the conversations with your partner on who’s doing what around the house. So it’s not the woman leaving passive aggressive post it notes on the bathroom mirror going you need to do X y&z or threatening to throw away dirty laundry that’s left all over the floor. It’s having fruitful conversations, respectful conversations, putting both partners on the same team against the world, on how to equally function in the household. So an example would be my husband and I both work from home. He loves to cook you know, we eat most of our meals at home we go through we have a lot of dishes, there are days that we run the dishwasher twice. And my off my desk happens to be right next to the kitchen and so I see the dishes all the time. Yeah, and we’ve had conversations where I know, he doesn’t mean to just let not do the dishes thinking that I’m gonna take care of it. He’s just not even thinking about it. And he knows that after the work day, somebody will deal with it. And so we’ve recently using this fairplay method are trying out and we’re just a few weeks into it. We haven’t really talked about how it’s working. But each week one of us is fully in charge of the dishes. So this happens to be my week and it’s Sunday through Saturday. And it is fully my week to deal with the dishes. Everything that needs to be hand washed everything that needs to be done and I get to do it on my time. As long as by Saturday night. It’s mostly caught up and then he takes over again on Sunday and when it’s his week, it’s not my problem. I don’t have to worry about the dishes piling up because it’s it’s his responsibility. And so it puts it helps clarify who’s doing what it’s not just oh, Tuesday is trash day. It’s who is taking the trash out when does it need to be taken out by? Is it every trash can in the house? Is it just the ones that are like what does that look like? And it’s having those conversations? Because so much of that stuff, right? It happens everyday and it needs to happen who’s dealing with a laundry and then you can get into the bigger stuff of it. Spending time together as a couple. Spending time with friends outside of your relationship doing something just for yourself. Do you have hobbies, or evenings that are just for you that you take that you get to go read a book or spend time? I don’t know playing pickleball whatever that looks like. And then include in there if you have kids, some of the other magical things like my daughter’s birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. So who’s in charge of buying her gifts? Who’s gonna wrap the gifts are we having a party who’s in charge of that? What does that look like? And and giving you kind of those guidelines to have the conversation that it’s not always just the women taking care of it or the moms taking care of it? It’s you know who’s in charge of the tooth fairy? And yeah, that happens to be my husband because I go to bed before he does and you have to wait to do it. You know, it’s sort of who’s calling the tooth fairy, whatever. And so and so the Instagram I getting sidetracked here, but that is somebody that I follow.
Emily 16:09
That’s good. That’s a really good stuff. Yeah, I’m really interested in that. That’s kind of similar to how my husband and I function we. Before we got married, we went through premarital counseling through our church, and one of the books that we had to read in the five weeks that we were engaged we had seven books we had to read. That was that’s all story that we had to go through and they just give you like a generic chore chart, like household chore chart. And you have to name who’s responsible for everything. That’s like you know, you have to you have to understand that this will change over time and that once you get into it, I might not be the best one to be doing this task and he might not be the best one to do that task. And so we will do, we will do things my husband typically takes care of everything outside and I take care of everything inside. As long as it’s not like fixing it. If it needs to be done. I’m definitely that wife that like grabs the power tool and pretends like I’m going to do something because they’ll come running and intervene. He’s like a perfectionist when it comes to carpentry. So that’s my threat to him. I’m gonna do this. I asked you four times you know, but we’ll get to a point and sometimes it’s like I lately, I have been the cook most nights. And I’ll get to a point and I’m like, Hey, I’m tired of cooking. I’m burnt out from this. I know that you are working and I know that the things you’re doing are super helpful to the house. The things that I’m doing and not able to do because I’m cooking every single night. They’re also super helpful to the house because you won’t have clean socks. We won’t have clean towels we won’t have we’ll turn dirt throughout the house. You know like it sounds silly, but I have to have time to do those things too. So I’ve started telling him like Sunday nights. When my stepson comes over the night before he comes over, we plan out our meals for the week and I say okay, which meal Are you going to cook and clean for? Because when I cook it’s supposed to be a relief to you to not have to clean up extra things. Used to be like if he cooked I would clean or if I cooked, the kids would clean or something. He’s not really a cleaner. So we would kind of do that sort of thing. And now it’s like Nope, you have to have one night. That’s my night to do something. And it’s really it’s not a huge expectation. It’s not too much for him to commit to and you know, he works on his feet all day long. So I tried to not give him too much. Because he comes home and he’s just dog tired and anyway, but that’s kind of how we manage it and it’s it works pretty well and I’m really interested in that account. So I’m glad you shared it. That was my rabbit trail.
Valerie 18:58
No, no, I highly recommend it. Yeah,
Emily 19:01
yeah. So are there any additional items that you would want our listeners to know about you or about your business before we part ways here?
Valerie 19:10
No, I think we’ve covered a lot. I think understanding that it’s not all on you to tackle everything there is a way out of the overwhelm. I think sometimes women just fall into this trap that this is just the way it is like I’m just going to be overwhelmed forever because that’s just the nature of being a woman. And I don’t think that that’s true. And so I really want women to know that there is a way to shift this and that. We can do that and I can help talk you through it if that is helpful.
Emily 19:42
That’s great. So where can our listeners Excuse me? Where can our listeners connect with you and find you online?
Valerie 19:49
Yeah, so you can find me on Instagram at stride productivity and also at stride productivity.com And you can there’s a quiz you can find there on the front page of my website or at stride productivity.com forward slash quiz and get started down just regular tips for me and the occasional soapbox about how moms do too much and but really just some tangible ideas on kind of shifting this in your own life.
Emily 20:18
Awesome. Well, thank you so much for your time today. I really appreciate it.
Valerie 20:23
Yeah, thank you for having me.
#overwhelm #overwhelmedmoms