Marissa is a farm wife, mom and business owner. She has 3 young girls with her husband, Trent. When she’s not coaching women to build their dream lives, she’s living hers. Marissa has always been a multi-passionate person who thrives on having lots of things going on at once. Luckily, Trent is there to help her manage it all.
Anything that allows Marissa to dream big and use her creativity is her jam. She loves being a mom and wife but her passion for business is right up there in her list of priorities. Her superpower is that she believes in the
women she encounters even more than they believe in themselves. She uses her previous teaching skills to meet women exactly where they are and create the biggest transformation they can.
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How do you manage it all? A look at balancing work & home with Marissa Rehder| Episode 19 – No Mercy Business Podcast with Emily A Woodruff
Unknown Speaker 0:00
Welcome to the No Mercy business coaching podcast with Emily Woodruff. The podcast that walks you through managing your own small business through the highs and the lows, will talk with small business owners from all over the US and share insights on how to help manage your business without the extra fluff and connect with other women just like you. Let’s dive in.
Unknown Speaker 0:40
Well, hello, everybody. Welcome. And thank you so much for joining me again, on another week of the No Mercy business podcast. This is your host, Emily Woodruff. And I have a very special guest with us today. Marissa Rader from Melissa I’m sorry, for Marissa Raider coaching, why don’t you go ahead and give an introduction and tell us kind of what you’re all about?
Unknown Speaker 1:04
Absolutely. First off, thank you so much for having me. I’m super excited to be here with you today. I am a former teacher turned life coach for business owners. So I went to school and I learned how to really effectively communicate what I want to teach people. And then took that and ran with it and created my own business. It was just something that had been on my heart pretty much my whole life. But I didn’t know what that looked like or how that was going to happen. And I let fear kind of run run me for a while on that. And one day just woke up and was like, You know what, no, I’m gonna go all in on this. And so I started a side hustle where I was selling teaching resources online through a website called Teachers Pay Teachers. And I was like, Yeah, this is, this is great, I’m getting to do what I thought my purpose was, which was teaching, and I’m still getting to create things and have my own business fantastic. And then the pandemic hit, and I started teaching kindergarten from my kitchen table. And I was like, Oh, I kind of liked this working from home business. So I honestly started, I had started coaching teachers on burnout prior to that, and I was like, Okay, I’m gonna go back one more year, and just go all in on my business after that, just gonna do it, I’m gonna not let fear play this game anymore, I’m gonna just go full in. And it turns out that I never did go back to the classroom, my plan did not go accordingly. And I left the classroom before going back that following year during the pandemic, and I was just in love with what I was doing. But what I found was that teachers were in a very different place than they were prior. And I did not feel like I could coach them through that not being in the classroom anymore. And so I went on this like quest to figure out okay, so now what really is my purpose because I was feeling kind of lost at that point. And I decided that the women who were drawn to me were other women who were raising kids, cuz I have three girls that are seven, six, and three. And so we were busy, and I was teaching full time I was doing my business. And so women who were trying to grow businesses were coming to me and asked me like, how are you doing at all? How are you able to manage all of these working pieces, and not just lose it every day? And so I was like, Oh, well, maybe I should be coaching women on and that’s kind of how Horus Raider coaching came to be. I got my life coach certification, I did some journal therapy certification, just really dove headfirst into it and was like, This is what I’m going to do. And that’s kind of how it was born. I love it.
Unknown Speaker 3:57
I love it. So you now you focus more on business owners rather than teachers though. And Christian business owners, right?
Unknown Speaker 4:04
Yes, yeah. Okay. And so, on this platform, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 4:11
evolved. And when I was first starting out looking for a coach of my own to, like, help guide me in the space, they were like, all in on manifestation. And if you just will it, you can do it. And I was like, kind of crazy. I was like, Ah, I mean, I totally know how science works and how our brains work and the you know, affirmations and these positive statements and things like that. Really do help you. Yeah, I also knew, like, deep down that this was not this was not me. This was not i I’m living this life for much bigger purpose than my own happiness and my own, you know, like, yeah, family’s well being and stuff, but this I was put on this earth to do God’s work. And so I was like, I wish that I’d had that coach. So I spent a lot of time thinking that that would limit and I could work with, I would get canceled online or email all of these things that happened to women who speak out about what they believe in when it’s status quo. Yeah. And then finally, one day just woke up. And I just had this very, very strong feeling. My marketing team was like, Don’t do it, who’s don’t do this, please do not change your Instagram handle to Christian life coach, and I was like, yeah. Sorry. This is it. This is where
Unknown Speaker 5:30
we’re going? Good. Well, and I have to be honest, I was looking at your Instagram, I looked at it the other day when we had initially connected and then I looked again this morning, and I saw your post on affirmations. And I was like, Yes, I think I’m gonna like this girl. Because I’m right. In the same way, I have lots of life coaches that are around me. And obviously affirmation has a has a place. But for that to be your entire platform. And for that to be your whole base line for, for how you get through things and how you manage things. There’s so much more to that. So it’s so exciting to see somebody who’s willing to call it out and talk about it a little bit deeper. So we could talk for a long time. So you have a VIP method that you want to share with us. Why don’t you talk about that for a little bit?
Unknown Speaker 6:27
Absolutely. So one of the things was, when women were coming to me, they were like, how are you managing this all? Like, how do you have so much time in your day, and I was like, I don’t have any time in my day. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am with small children from 8am to 4pm. Then I come home and I raise my own small children, my husband farms. He is like, I last night was the earliest he’s been holding weeks because we’re in the middle of harvest. And so we’re talking like 1am he’s averaging like five hours of sleep. And I think this last month, and so people were like literally, are you superhuman? No, I’m not, I’m actually quite lazy. And so I rely on systems. What kind of gonna go get her and I will get things done. So we do crops, cattle and hogs here in Iowa. And so we do corn and soybeans, so we are in the thick of it.
Unknown Speaker 7:18
Unknown Speaker 7:20
Okay, yes. Oh, no, you’re good. And so I was like, reflecting then, as one does, you know, in their, in my lazy time is what I call where I was like, what is it? Like? How am I getting the things done that I need to and it came down to, that I know what my values are, I know where I stand. And that’s evident when you hit my Instagram page, or you have on my website and things like that you know exactly where I stand, and what I value. And it’s my family, it’s my business, it’s my, my faith and just these different things and sounds like I need to really pinpoint what these words are, how like, what’s the legacy? What do I feel like I was put on this earth to do? And how, how am I supposed to be showing up. And so I started paying attention to things that made me feel really, really great about just other people’s stories that I’ve seen in the news, or that I was reading online, that just made my heart really, really happy. And then I also started paying attention to the ones that just really got me fired up, like almost borderline like angry. Because I knew, you know, I was pulling down words from those scenarios that I wanted to be known for. And so like, abundance is one of those words that gets thrown a lot round a lot lately by those spiritual life coaches that we were previously talking about, that for me, abundance means something completely different. I want an abundance of time with my family, I want an abundance of love in my life and support and all of these things. So abundance is one of my core values, because I It doesn’t just mean wealth, meetings, all of these other things to me. And you know, family and productivity is one of my values. I want people to see me as that person who had an idea and followed through with it, and then had integrity while she did it. And so when I started pinpointing what those words were, I realized that my values were a big part of how I showed up in my daily life, and why I was able to get done all the things that I was getting done in a day, and doing it in a graceful way on top of it. And so that is one piece of it. That’s the V to the VIP method is knowing what your values are and how you want to show up in the world. And then the eye is intention, actually setting the attention to be that person. And don’t get me wrong. There are so many days where I fell flat on my face and more than one areas of those values. But knowing that that’s where I always want to come back to is is the intention piece and then I can set my intentions for the day based on those values and then my priorities and so I have my main priorities. My family, my faith, you know, my business. Yeah. And then on top of it, I set my priorities for the day. So today I literally before I even got out of bed, I just laid there. And I was like, Okay, I’ve got a really busy week, weekend coming up. I have physical products, as well as doing my coaching until I do a lot of vendor Fairs and things like that. And so it’s like, okay, what do I need to have done before I show up to this place on Sunday to set up all my things. And so I just literally ran through a checklist, and I was like, Okay, I need to make this, this, this and this. And this is my priority for today, I’m gonna get these four things done today. And if that’s all I get done, then that’s all that really matters. Because when I go and I pick my kids up from daycare today, I know that from the time they come home to the time that they hit the pillow at night, my time with them is intentional, that doesn’t mean that I am doting on them and only doing the things that they want to do. But that means that I am making supper and I am not trying to multitask 100 things while they’re home, we can get their homework done without having complete chaos. You know, we’ve got these routines in these systems that we’ve put into place based on what our priorities are for each day. And I honestly think about it and run through it before I go to bed at night. And before before I even get out of bed in the morning. Okay, what, uh, what is it going to be today. And so that’s honestly what I live by is my value, setting my intention and knowing what my priorities are. And everybody’s got that to do list that’s 1000 things long. But prioritizing that and putting it down like today, this is all that really matters. And these are the four things that I absolutely have to get done in order to have a successful day. And if I get two other ones on that list, fantastic. That means that it was an even more awesome day than I thought it was gonna be. But in order to live a happy and healthy life, these are my priorities today. So that’s, that’s kind of it in a nutshell.
Unknown Speaker 11:49
That’s great. That’s great. So you I mean, you kind of touched on it a little bit. So you probably get this question a lot, too. But how how do you manage the demands of being a mompreneur? I guess we’ll call it.
Unknown Speaker 12:03
What does that really look like?
Unknown Speaker 12:06
Absolutely. So obviously, right now, I’m not relying on my husband a whole lot. But when he’s in his not like peak busy times, we have this partnership where we have, you know, this understanding of this is what I have to do to run my business. And he, he says, This is what I have to do to run my business. And then we kind of merge it and we figure out, okay, this is what we can manage together, what is falling through the cracks, because we either procrastinate it or put it off or don’t want to spend the time on it. So one of the very first things we did was we brought in a house cleaning service one time a month, just to do like the deep cleaning one time a month. With clutter, we could handle you know, the day to day upkeep of things. But the dusting, the, you know, washing of the floors, like that just was not happening as much as we wanted it to. And so we found for $100 a month, we could have somebody come in, they clean our house from top to bottom one really good time that month. And that was $100 that freed up three hours of our time, then yeah, where we didn’t feel like we were you know, we only get Sundays at home with my husband, he works six, six and a half days a week. He does chores on Sundays also in the morning and at night. And so we go to church, we do our family thing. And so then we had just this little tiny window of time where all of this was having to take place because that was our only time home together. We didn’t want to spend that time doing that. And so that was one of the first things that we outsource. And then the other thing that I ended up outsourcing was I started sending my kids in daycare, I we have this perception in our society where we work from home moms need to have their kids with them 24/7 and still run their businesses. And what I was finding was that that was not healthy for any of us, my kids were not getting the interaction that they needed. They were fighting and arguing with each other all the time. They were not getting time with their friends. And I wasn’t getting things done the way I wanted to either. And so I was stressed because I was, you know, being pulled in 100 different directions all day long. So childcare was another thing that we outsourced. And so our girls, our two oldest are actually in school now but our youngest goes to daycare four days a week and Wednesdays are her at home with mommy day. And so I still take a day to just be with her and I might do some business related tasks if she’s, you know, entertained or doing something but it gives her time at home with me and me time with her which is amazing. But that’s one thing that I think women really struggle they have that guilt that just kind of hit some of the core of their like, well being like I want to be a stay at home mom, but what does that actually look like for you? You know what, what? You have to weigh the pros and the cons of it. You know, I was just talking to somebody yesterday where she was like, you know, for the first year of my child’s life, it works great because they weren’t all over the place getting into everything. As soon as they hit that year mark then you know We went part time daycare. And then we realized that our family was a lot healthier, happier, and you know more in a mental just their mental health was better when they were trying to do it and manage it all. And so outsourcing is my number one way that I manage it.
Unknown Speaker 15:16
Absolutely. And I want to talk about that for a second. So I have in this is true for for moms who want to work from home, and just for moms who have regular jobs, too. It’s there’s no reason that you can’t hire some help, and you can’t outsource some things. And I have a friend that is a PA, her her job is very demanding. She’s out of the office or out of the house like 50 Some hours a week, she has two littles at home, her husband works too. But she is the the main provider for cleaning and cooking. And do you know general care of the kids, she’s still expected to maintain this kind of old school theory of women’s work. And she just she comes home and she’s exhausted from serving other people every day. They are very devoted to their church. I’ve told her for five years, you need a maid?
Unknown Speaker 16:13
I just can’t do that. I can’t do it. And like, yes, you can you have the means? Why not?
Unknown Speaker 16:20
Why kill yourself over this? Why burn yourself out? There are people in that in that role in that job. Because they’re good at it. And that’s what they do. And you’re helping somebody else. That’s what I tried to do is like, look at what you do for them. You know, if you can’t convey exactly, I’m like it’s a service to them. So I just want to kind of highlight that a little bit that it’s not just for work, work from home parents, it’s anybody who needs it. Use it, you know? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 16:48
absolutely. No, I completely agree with that. And we were lucky we do have family in in the area. But for a long time, my husband and I did not believe that we needed that village to help us. And all it ended up with was me sitting on a couch one night pregnant with our third Googling, or the rehabs for exhausted moms. For exhaustion, I was like, I’m a normal person. But can I do that? Yeah, right. And I just, I thought to myself, You know what the hell, even if I went somewhere for a week, and just did nothing, and just took care of myself for that week, I was going to come back into the exact same atmosphere that I’ve been in before. And so as lovely as that sounded, I knew that that was not really the answer to what was going on in our lives. And that was when I started by literally just picking up a book. I just picked up a book one day, and was like, All right, I haven’t read in years. I mean, I’d read things for being a better teacher, but I hadn’t just read for me in years, and I picked up a book, it was called How to get shit done. And I read it front to back in two days. And I was like, that was great. That was a really good start. So all right, how and it kind of snowballed. From there. It just takes that one, that one thing that’s going to get the ball rolling, because once you’re in motion with it, then you can start making those changes. And that led to learning how to be more productive, how to use my time more wisely, how to manage my, my mental health and my emotions better so that I wasn’t losing it with my kids over the silliest things, it turned out that anxiety shows up that way. And I didn’t know that. It was something that I had been dealing with postpartum for, you know, four years and had no idea that that’s what was going on. But picking up that one book, and making that one choice is what led me to being where I’m at today, you know, four years later, and it’s it was the best choice I’d ever made. Put it that way.
Unknown Speaker 18:59
That’s great. So how would you? How would you encourage entrepreneurs to use habits, not only to scale their business, but to lessen their stress level while they’re doing it?
Unknown Speaker 19:12
Absolutely. So we read all those books like how to have the four hour workweek or the 5am club where you have to get up at 5am and follow this regimen. Morning Routine. I am not a morning person. Yeah, not in the slightest. Like no, thank you. I have zero desire to read in the morning to do any of those things until about 10am. Yeah, it’s just how my brain and my body works. Why force it? And so my biggest thing was it is what routines and habits are going to serve you like what’s the purpose behind them? Is it because you read a book once and they say the most successful people do these things? Guess what, there’s people all the time who don’t do those things who are wildly successful. But what the thing that really is the underlying thing is that they’re doing things that serve them And what their goals are. And so sitting down and just being really honest with yourself, like, what do you want your mornings to look like, for me, I know I, I like to shower every day. So my workout needs to happen before I shower. So even though I’m not a morning person, like if I’m going to work out, it has to happen in the morning. So I that’s one thing that I’m like, okay, that serves a purpose. And it serves a purpose there because then it makes sense for the rest of my day. But then honestly, I just, I get up, I shower, I get ready for the day, I help my kids get out the door, I drive them to school, and I drive them to daycare, and it just makes her morning calm and peaceful. I do not feel the need to be up two hours before my family to get a bunch of stuff done. No, don’t, don’t like that. Not at all. So you don’t I take my kids, to school and to daycare, and I’m home by about 830 that gives me a half an hour to declutter the house to get some tasks done, you know, household chore wise. And then I try to be working by like 9am. And I work throughout the day. And then I have habits at night that I do, I make sure that I you know, take care of my skin, I read a book before I go to bed, even if it’s two pages, that is just a routine or a habit that I’ve built in, I will do a little bit of work while my kids are sleeping, you know. So I’ve built in these habits that serve me, I don’t do anything that does not serve a purpose. For me, I don’t meditate just to meditate, because that’s what people say to do. There are days where I need a good like, hoo, moment. And honestly, most of that is I do in my car while I’m driving, because I can have my worship music on and I can be thinking about things and processing things. And I’m running through all the things that I’m grateful for, or whatever, that’s an emotion that that song brings up, I pray on it, or I think about it. And I’ve built it into the nooks and crannies of my day, instead of feeling like I need to get up at 5am to do all of these things. That’s great. Just to do just to say that I do them. That’s great.
Unknown Speaker 22:10
Is there anything else that you would want to share about you or your business with our
Unknown Speaker 22:14
listeners today? Oh, my gosh, I
Unknown Speaker 22:18
just first off, I have not even met your listeners yet. But know that I probably believe you need more than you even believe in yourself. And so that’s my number one recommendation for people that are in the entrepreneurship world is that it can be a lonely place. And when you’re growing your business and you’re doing all the things and you might be working a full time job still on top of that you’re trying to raise your family is that you are going to be like the people that you surround yourself with. So find those people that bring the light to your life, the podcasts that you’d like to listen to, or the music or the Instagram accounts, do not feel like you have to do anything that doesn’t fill your cup that way. And I’ve been going through that even in my business. Now I’ve gotten to a place where I’m like, oh, it just doesn’t feel right or this.
Unknown Speaker 23:11
This part just doesn’t feel good.
Unknown Speaker 23:12
And so just make sure that what you’re doing is serving a purpose. It’s moving you closer to your goals, and that you’re finding the people that are going to support you in that 100%. And if you don’t have those people will be those people for you. So combined. I love
Unknown Speaker 23:25
it. I love it. So speaking of social media, where can our listeners find you?
Unknown Speaker 23:31
Absolutely. I hang out on Instagram an awful lot. It’s at Life Coach underscore Marissa and I talk about all things faith, family fun and life coaching on there. So
Unknown Speaker 23:44
awesome. Well, thank you so much for being on here with me today. I appreciate your time. It’s great.
Unknown Speaker 23:53
Awesome. Well, thank you so much for having me. I’ve enjoyed our conversation thoroughly. And I this is this is honestly what lights me up. So now I will go the rest of the day and I will go like 100 miles per hour getting stuff done. Because I’m like, Yes, that was great.
Unknown Speaker 24:06
Thank you. Yeah, thank you.
Unknown Speaker 24:10
Before we go, I just wanted to reach out real quick. A lot of you have talked about starting your own podcast and you’re just not sure where to start. I wanted to let you know that Libsyn is an awesome platform. And right now they have a great deal for you to join if you use the code Woodruff WOD Are you FF, you can get in at a great rate and get started today. Feel free to shoot me an email or send me a message if you have any questions I would love to walk you through starting on your own. Thanks for listening to the No Mercy business coaching and consulting podcast with Emily Woodruff. We specialize in branding and design for women, by women. Thanks for listening to the No Mercy business coaching and consulting podcast with Emily Woodruff. We specialize in branding and design for women by women
Transcribed by https://otter.ai